The Good Space - Helix Space

Helix, the last day, thoughts and reflections

2007-07-29T21:09:00.000-07:00

Erik gave me the last two years of recorded Helix services. It made me feel warm, and it made me appreciate Erik more than ever – he thinks of those things. It also made me realize that I might not get to minister with Erik again for awhile and that stung. I put the CD’s in their box, neatly ordered inside the Gatorade cooler, I knew that was going with me and they wouldn’t fall out of there.

Then we worshipped.
Then we took communion.
Then we prayed.
Then we blessed and hugged.

As service ended, I thanked Jon for doing worship one more time, and we joked about football only being 30 days away. I guess that was my guys’ way of saying ‘thank you’ for his prayers during the service – and indirectly saying, ‘lets keep in touch’, life continues on beyond these doors. It was good stuff that he said.

Then we took the church apart piece by piece.
The busyness was a relief.

As the afternoon wore on, we loaded up and took the sound system out to Sunnyside, where it began. I looked at it sitting there in a pile, with all of its battle scars and memories still clinging to it like the stickers with which it was so-long labeled…and I sensed that the tide was changing and the numb feeling of constant activity would soon give way to sorrow. Very soon, very soon.

Then Travis and I drove home. And we talked and we reminisced for just a few more minutes, and then he and Kim departed.

I ate my Arby’s roast beef in about a minute flat, having not eaten all day. I opened a beer and it tasted good. Alanna and I silently went about bringing in the remnants of the Helix that we had claimed. I held the art in the sun and marveled at Travis’ skill with a brush. I must have stood five minutes looking at the painting, the view of Hawthorne so familiar, but strangely changed to my eyes. It was painted from a snapshot taken by person who I no longer am. The picture was taken by that man in another time, in another frame of mind, from another frame of reference. Had I known then what lay ahead, I would have been afraid, but I had my Jesus and that, I guess, is in the end, all that really matters. Then, Alanna and her mom and Ava left for Big-lots to pick up a table that Doreen had on-hold there.

Suddenly, the day with all its cares, was over. The busyness was done. And I was alone.

I walked out-side, glad for the first quiet of the day…long overdue at 6:10 PM.
I stood still for a few but shortly felt a restlessness flickering at my feet as the warm breeze rustled the trees, and the sun sank towards its 27,000 mph bath. I looked up towards the heavens as I often do, and said out loud to the silence “Love you Lord”, crossing my head and then my lips and then my heart as I sometimes do when I feel the Divine Profoundness pressing in on my temples. I learned it from the Catholics, a practice reminding myself whose mind, and mouth, and heart are these. And then I returned to my ponderings thinking the brief interaction over.

Suddenly, I again looked up and said, “it is just you and I again Lord”. And then the flood-gates opened. Burning hot and salty, without any chance of staunching this flow. I suddenly felt small and young again, but so very old too; all pumping up in shudder after shudder. Then slowly my reluctant tears gave way to silent sobs lest the neighbors hear from their patio and think something very wrong. I felt anguish – deep in my soul, at once a rush of emotions, and sadness, and relief all blended into one. Then up came memories good and bad, friends found and lost, friends living and friends having passed. All these things I watched and wept. Knowing that who I am has died, the new has come, and with the new come the trials and transitions and hurts that must accompany the task of loving others as we have first been loved. This is my first experience of laying down a commission at the Lord’s feet, and sincerely giving it back to Him. It is very strange indeed, defying all that I have come to know and understand as fitting the definition of the word ‘progress’. This decision has required great determination and at a personal level, all the trust that I can muster – daily having to work through to the re-conclusion that God is indeed, Good and nothing apart from Him bears that title.

My greatest fear is that the doors of ministry are shut, and that never again will I be able to teach, or lead, or be aligned with people like all of you again.

I think it is a rare and blessed problem with which I am faced. Rarely, do pastors get to walk away knowing that behind them is only good, is only what God has done, is only love, and change, and camaraderie, and friendship. This is a rare gift indeed. The sorrow lies in the fact that this exact ensemble. This exact and blessed group will never again be put together in this fashion and for all the very best reasons this causes me to grieve. To grieve for good reasons is my own definition of what is best meant by ‘sweet sorrow’.

As I stood there still sobbing on the back patio, I knew that the crescendo of grieving could not yet be at its zenith, not yet even be close to being ready to surrender to the everyday cares of life. I knew, and still know, that it is a pain that I must allow to wash through and over me. I must allow that stream to run until it runs dry, or it will do me harm if it is kept inside. As I watched it pass there, standing in the sun, I realized just how much I love you all, and just how much I desperately want you all to succeed. It is a desperation born of seeing so many fail and fall. You are all the best, and I want you to know that Alanna and I did the very best we could in this season of life to love you all well. For those for whom we have fallen short, I am very sorry. For those who feel well loved, we are thankful that you do.

For having the chance to be a part of, and even to lead the Helix, it has been my privilege and I feel more qualified and less worthy than I did at the beginning. You are all magnificent followers of Jesus and I want you all to walk away from this experience, if with nothing else, than that your eyes are now, more than ever firmly fixed on Jesus.

Then, the sun seemed dim through my tears and I realized I must write – I must hammer at the keys these things - and to its end, here it is.

This is my letter to you all saying, I love you. Fare thee well. We love you. Keep following Jesus. Don’t ever give up. Stay in touch. We are family now. Even if time and distance separate us, we are all adopted family and the blood of the Lamb is thicker than water.

Speakeasy in October so Cheers! See you there.

Rock on Helix. This party ain’t over yet. We’ve got a ways to go before we are home.

Blessings,
A.G.

Rev. Andrew Goodwin

Hey, we have a new web-home

2005-06-30T23:14:00.000-07:00

Now the Helix is present on the web at the following location http://www.helixchurch.blogspot.com

Please visit us there from now on.

Blessings

Minutes from Sunday's Worship Meeting

2005-06-10T11:27:00.000-07:00

Worship Meeting Outline:

New Worship Look:

Hands on, responsible for, go to for:

Worship Team: coordinate coverage

Support for:

Sound: help coordinate coverage, mainly an option as “go to”

Projector: help coordinate coverage, mainly an option as “go to”

Our Goal:

Our approach for facilitation of worship is to create an open environment where everyone can get involved. We want to see freedom of expression, including diverse instruments, abilities, styles, and alternative forms. We want to see people actively involved in the community through worship, and we want to see the guiding principles of the church reflected in the principles of worship.

Get More People involved

Try to get more sounds involved

Get more involved outward and inward.

How that will look:

Get More People involved

Please sign up

Come to practice and shadow if you’re new

Try to get more sounds involved

If people have an interesting instrument they play bring it.

Get more involved outward

Focus on saying hello to people

Participate in church events in the community

Follow new participation guidelines:

Guidelines:

An active part of the Helix Community evident by:

Attending the Majority of Sundays

Participating in one of the following non-Sunday activities:

Prayer Sunday Night

Men’s BS / Men’s Movie

Women’s Night / Women’s Prayer

One on One accountability with someone in (regular attendee) the community

Sign up:

Worship – Explanation (shadowing, playing, e-mail)

Soundboard – Explanation – will shadow and teach, needs regular breaks

Projector – Explanation – will shadow and teach, needs regular breaks

Set Up – Explanation – Show up and help

CD:

Where we are at

Cover Art

$ to goal

Starting duplication

Our goals

Playing shows

Sending press packs

Other:

New CD process – e-mail last week – pray for a duplicator

Sending e-mails each week with upcoming schedule

Song writing retreat and workshop –down the road once community is more settled

2005-06-09T21:23:00.000-07:00

Helix Foursquare Church

Announcement: CD Ministry Ordering Process!!!

2005-05-31T12:27:00.000-07:00

Love a sermon?
Missed a week?
Want to hear that song again?

Here’s what to do:

If you would like a copy of the service call or e-mail Daniel Freshwater

503-572-4982 or cdministry@gmail.com
Then pick up your copy at the sound booth.
It's that easy.

If you forgot there may still be hope!
Stop by the sound booth and he may have an extra –
but do it quick they are first come first serve.

If you want copies for friends that’s cool, call or e-mail Daniel and
he’ll bring your copy and blank CD’s for you to make copies for your friends.

Pray for a duplicator! We need $600 for a duplicator, then we can make this a lot easier!

Questions / Comments / Suggestions:
B&E Stanfill 503-236-8290 or Bonikastjames@gmail.com

Sincerely,
Daniel Freshwater

Announcement: Worship Meeting!

2005-05-24T11:06:00.000-07:00

****************************************************

There will be a worship meeting on 6/5 after church at 2:00 p.m. We'll be meeting at Laurelhurst Park after church for a picnic (unless it's raining and then we'll go to Lucky Lab).

Please come if you are involved in or would like to be involved in:

Worship

The Sound Board

Set up and Load out

The Overhead Projector

CD Ministry

We will be discussing getting more people involved, the direction we want to go, ideas for structure, etc.

Please come even if you think you may not be ready to share your talent at this time. We'll be talking about how to help get you there.

Thanks,

Bonnie & Erik

Laurelhurst:

1.	Start at The Bagdad going toward SE 38TH AVE - go 0.1 mi
2.	Turn LEFT on SE 39TH AVE - go 0.5 mi
3.	Arrive at SE 39TH AVE AT SE STARK ST, PORTLAND

Lucky Lab:

1.	Start at The Bagdad going toward SE 37TH AVE - go 1.4 mi
2.	Turn RIGHT on SE 12TH AVE - go <> mi
3.	Turn LEFT on SE MADISON ST - go 0.1 mi
4.	Turn LEFT on SE 9TH AVE - go <> mi
5.	Turn LEFT on SE HAWTHORNE BLVD - go <> mi
6.	Arrive at 915 SE HAWTHORNE BLVD, PORTLAND, on the LEFT

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Welcome to Helix

2005-05-12T11:23:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the Helix Foursquare Blogspot! Apologies in advance - for ease of maintenance - this blog is simply an add-on to my own blog and is intended only as a stop-gap until we get our official web-site up and running. (helixpdx.org is a long time in the making which means that it is going to be really, really, really good).

For those of you new to us - just having a blogspot up and running is exciting for us. Our little community has been slightly occupied with growing, healing, changing, and maturing into a God-centered community the last three years - and as a result - this is the first time we have ever had any kind of presence on the world wide web that is both a) publicly available AND b) under our control, whoo-hoo!!! (what I mean is that for the first time EVER we can edit the content, and post NEW things, and UPDATE THE PICTURES so that when you step into our lobby (the Bagdad Theatre, 3702 SE Hawthorne, Sundays 11 AM) in person for the very first time - you might actually recognize us!

Again, welcome and blessings,
Hope to see you there Sunday
Andrew